Stuff I Like

Dogs and cats. Fuck choosing, they are both  primarily made of  awesome.

Wal Mart. There’s about an eighty five percent chance that they have whatever it is I want at any given time.

Good looking women. I’m not that picky – anything above a six and I’m in love. Just talking to them makes me feel better.

Music. Okay, only some of it, but if I didn’t have my music I’d probably be dead. Literally.

Pants. I’d be so fucking cold right now if I wasn’t wearing pants!

Adrenaline. “GodDAMN I am all kinds of tired. I could jus- HOLY SHIT THAT CAR ALMOST HIT US!” /me is awake and alert for a solid three hours.

Good books. Add unobtrusive music to the background and I can ignore everything ever.

Video games. Real life is pretty boring sometimes, but Mario’s life is fucking amazing all the time.

Sleep. ESPECIALLY with a cuddle partner. No explanation necessary.

StumbleUpon. What the Hell else would I do at four in the morning?!

Psychoactive chemicals. Feeling down? Not if this loaded bowl has anything to say about it! Or, you know, green tea or whatever legal bullshit you prefer to be addicted to.

Food. I’ve always loved food, and it’s actually starting to show.

Good body shape. I’m not sure if I love this more than food just yet. Still working that one out…

The internet. Fuck yeah.

Premarital sex. If God really has such a problem with the best activity ever, which is only so much fun because HE FUCKING MADE IT THAT WAY, then I’m not sure I want to live in his house…

God. Please don’t kill me or punish me for all of eternity due to that last statement. I’ll sacrifice a goat, or whatever Leviticus has laid out for this situation, if I have to.

Conservatives. They’re all so stupid, it’s hilarious. They also tend to be the easiest to offend.

Offending people. If you can’t take a joke about it, you haven’t really accepted it as fact. I know my mother’s dead, and I’m okay with that now. Make jokes about it, I don’t care. If I got offended you would know I was still struggling with it. This applies universally. If you can’t take a joke about your religion, it’s because you don’t really believe in it.

Turning humorous, pointless lists into philosophical arguments. Seriously, that wasn’t intentional. This always happens to me. It’s like a disease. Or… Or an addiction. I just can’t stop…

Ending addictions, just to see if I can. Kind of like